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Old 06-08-2012, 07:41 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

I've never had a best friend all to myself. I always shared a best friend with at least one other person. Wonder if that says anything about people's aptitude to be in an open relationship...

Are you hoping she will move to be with you? It seems less_than_helpful truthfully to be discussing that you both see getting married and building lives together with somebody who lives on the other side of the country, in the most masochistic sense I can think of. Especially since you two haven't even been in the same city for years, so there's no reason to think the reality is as amazing as the long distance angst and "what ifs" let you both think it is. Do you feel firmly monogamous, or are you open to being poly yourself?

From your responses and a personal experience with somebody who was monogamous but still wanted to be a lifelong partner of mine (while suffering from a good amount of jealousy) who is STILL uncomfortable about me being with anybody but my husband a decade later from just a platonic ex/friend standpoint... it sounds to me like polyamory or a mono-poly relationship just won't work well for you.

You feel you are the perfect match it sounds like. You might find another perfect match if you are open to it and not courting a relationship that will leave you unhappy most of the time. Unless she is willing to move to be with you and you're willing to accept that she wants to spend time with other people romantically, I don't get the impression either of you are doing anybody any favors by pursuing this. Sorry, that's just my feeling on the situation.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 06-08-2012 at 09:00 AM.
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