Originally Posted by polypenguin
i'm not 100% about her side of the chemistry, but it seems as though there is something there.so here's where the comments/heckleing comes into play
1. Should I just come out and ask her? Or should I wait a little longer to see what happens? After all, it's only been a couple weeks.
2. Should I tell the girlfriend, making her even more jealous when I go to ballet? Or wait on that too?
3. I suppose the last option would be asking the ballerina girl first, then telling the girlfriend. Or visa versa.
please let me know what you think. Am I over thinking this? Or jumping the gun? Or is there something I haven't thought of yet?
Heckling? You're expecting heckling? lol Sorry, that just stood out to me.
Umm... I would say talk to Genebean first. Talking to ballerina first could come off as trying to hide something from your gf when you talk to her and that just couldn't end well, IMO. I don't think you're overthinking it. I think if there is something going on subconsciously it is usually best to address it as soon as you're aware that something could happen. Not addressing it and then something happening that could upset anyone involved is a huge risk. Well, the level of risk depends on the people involved and all kinds of other factors. Are you willing to take that risk?
My main concern is that you promised Genebean not to do anything relating to other relationships for a certain amount of time, so bringing this up before that time period is over could result in negative consequences in that relationship, too. Her worry about women in ballet being more attractive than her and you running off with one of them and leaving her is insecurity. Plain and simple. That is HER problem, that SHE should be working on. Right now. Especially since dancing is a part of your life and she is going to have to deal with those women being in your life, even if you aren't romantic with any of them. Discomfort/outright disapproval of dating coworkers = understandable, of dating mutual friends = maybe not reasonable, but understandable, but to not want you to date someone who you have something in common with that you met at a class just because she is a dancer therefore more attractive? Seems like something that needs attention.
Another thing - what sort of signs is this women giving you that she wants more than a friendship/dance relationship? In your position (with all the drama and craziness surrounding opening up your and Genebean's relationship), I would want to be pretty darn sure that there actually is something there before outright acknowledging it to anyone. Then I would make sure I talk to Genebean first so that I don't come off as secretive or anything like that.