I haven't logged on here for a while but I wanted to send you hugs and some thoughts.
I wondered if you might still be grieving the loss of Leo? I only raise it because I see some similarities in some of what you write with what I have been feeling since my Dad died in January.
At first, there was the funeral to get through and all the upset immediately before and after his death. But by now I had expected to be fine again - and I'm not.
My moods are not settled. I can be happy, hopeful and upbeat one minute and in the next, really down and feel like everything is hopeless. It seems to be part of grieving.
This may or may not help but I'm finding that making sure I have plenty of time to myself is useful. And balancing that with spending time with close friends and my SO doing different things.
Anyway - hugs. Horrible to be dealing with a breach of trust also.