As I debate whether or not to go see Marty for our "scheduled" time this evening, it occurs to me that really, I don't want that much. I want to feel wanted. I miss the enthusiasm he had from the beginning of our relationship. His total ambivalence towards if we see each other or not (at least outwardly, that is what I see - he says he loves to see me, but it would be nice to hear it more often and without me prompting) makes me pretty darn ambivalent myself.
I know we STILL have this half finished talk hanging over our heads. To be honest, I want to ignore all of that tonight. I just want to hold him. I want to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie on netflix and just enjoy the companionship with none of the thinking. This has been a rough week for me (entirely unrelated to relationship stuff) and I just need to relax. I have fun things planned all weekend long with friends and family, but the midweek break for calm socialization with snuggles would be super welcome.
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.