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Old 06-06-2012, 03:59 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Yes, there are plenty of threads here on poly/mono relationships and you can find them by doing an Advanced Search or Tag Search for "poly/mono" or "mono/poly" and so on. However, it seems like being mono with a poly partner is just a small part of your problem.

It doesn't sound like you have a loving partner who is being considerate of your needs if you are regularly being dismissed and disrespected. And you say you have no friends - why not? Have you been putting all your focus on him that you let slide your need for friendship and activities outside your relationship? That doesn't sound good. I think you would do well to work on your self-esteem, and that may mean breaking it off and living independently.

I would try to get some counseling or therapy if you can, try to cultivate some friendships, start engaging in things you enjoy, and get as much support as possible so that life feels good again. I wouldn't focus on this boyfriend of yours, who sounds like he takes you for granted (I'm being polite). I also don't think you need to be focused on BDSM, or poly, or anything other than making sure you are good and strong and confident within yourself.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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