New Poly - Feel like our relationship has ended
Hi, Im looking for advice and guidance. I have been with my girlfriend/partner for six years now. My partner is very openly bisexual and I have always been very open and supportive about new ideas.
My partner has become more unsettled in our relationship and she said she wants a more open relationship so she can be herself. We have talked alot about poly relationships and she is now seeing another woman who I know well and she wants me to do the same. I have been quite happy to let her be open and myself not but she said she cant live with the guilt of her having this open relationship and me not.
So I have started taking interested in another woman and my partner is really excited for me especially as the woman I am interested in is like minded.
The only problem is that I feel like my relationship with my partner has ended. I feel more lonely and isolated than I have ever felt in my life. I feel like have opened up a can of worms inside myself that cant be put away. I was content before and now when I meet people I think whether or not they are interested and not just see them as friends etc. I hate myself.
Well that is better according to my partner but for me it feels like the kind of sex you have when you first start meeting someone. You know you could take it or leave it and there is certainly no love.
I feel like alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. Whats wrong with me? Most men would love to be in my position. Am I being pathetic and should I just go along with it.
I am new to this please go easy on me