Thank you so much for your thoughts and wisdom nycindy.
You have given my partner things to think about.
I have to tell you that I was excited that you replied. I have read many of your posts and find you very wise, sensitive, sensible and insightful.
I am so glad to have found this forum as I think it will be a good support for my partner and I as we venture/adventure into this rich new experience. I like the transparency of sharing and being accountable to others, exposing and being able to have the wisdom of many others who have lived experience.