Thank you all for the responses, support and thoughts.
you made me smile. Thank you. I do feel a bit like that in moments, and then crumble
LR- you are a dear. Thanks for letting me text your face off and thanks for all your knowledge, I will heed what you say and just feel the emotions before making decisions. You are so wise.
Arrowbound- thanks for your input and wisdom also.
Outsider- it was me who said it first "go at the pace of the one who is struggling the most." I am glad of the reminder and am thinking now of just who it is who is struggling most in all this. ??? You hit the nail on the head several times about what Mono and I have talked about and what he has said about his experience in this. There are other factors that I can't share, but the general idea you have understood. I guess the more I write about our process the more it will become evident how much.