It sounds like you are approaching this with a very open and responsible way of thinking, and this bodes very well for the future. The fact that you have been able to talk openly with each other about sex, and recognise the imbalance in your needs and how to resolve them speaks volumes for you.
I am not surprised that you find that can't separate sex from love - some can, but many other can't.
In case you are interested in face-to-face meetings with other poly folks, there is an NSW poly group based in Sydney that, apparently have socials once a month. Those can be great ways to just SEE that there are others out there who think like you and can be BE, rather than making a big deal out of it. I don't know it personally, but can provide you with a link so that you can do some more research - http://polyamory.org.au/nsw
I wish you luck on your journey.