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Old 11-30-2009, 02:28 PM
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fauxsisticated fauxsisticated is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Portland, ME
Posts: 26
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I've often wondered if swinging could be the cure for what ails me. I'm still not sure if polyamory is truly what would work best for me. I've often thought of monogamy as possessive and immature, but like most of us, I've had the misfortune of growing up in a society where pro-monogamy propaganda has been shoved down my throat since infancy.

That being said, ever since my first longterm, monogamous relationship, I realized I would always be attracted to males and females equally and would eventually tire of a situation where I'm only dating a single person and begin craving the other gender. I've tried introducing the idea of swinging or polyamory to everyone I've been with, and it's never been met with much enthusiasm. Even for myself, I fear jealousy would make things difficult. My current and I have discussed going to swinger's clubs, but the ones near us are ridiculously expensive. We've checked out the yahoo groups for swingers in our area, and the other members of these groups don't really do it for us. Also, as has been discussed earlier, there is the whole homophobia factor, which wouldn't work at all for my partner or me. We're both very queer friendly, (both dealing with gender dysphoria issues, I'm pansexual,) and most of the reason I'd be interested in going is to get it on with some ladies.

I think the reason swinging appeals to me is that it's something you do at a club or event, but then you leave it there and go on with your life. However, I am more attracted to someone based on their personality, so random anonymous sex might leave me cold. Polyamory interests me because you get a chance to connect and build a relationship with someone that feels more organic and, well, normal, but what if that person(s) is crazy, or tries to break up my current relationship, or becomes a stalker, or blahdy blahdy blah... I come up with too many what-if's, methinks

I've settled on monogamy by default, even though I'm not convinced it's the best solution for me. I'm keeping my mind open to all possibilities.
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