Thanks again to everyone for their thoughtful responses! I appreciate the feedback. I feared being judged harshly when I first submitted my original post, and I'm glad to have instead gotten such supportive input
Magdlyn, I'll look up some of your other posts. The one thing that's always kept me from really pursuing a poly lifestyle is the jealousy factor and not wanting to ruin the monogamous relationship I'm in. I've been told it's harder to go from monogamous to poly once the expectation has been in place that you'll be exclusive with your partner, but I have a hard time trusting someone enough right off the bat to open things up. Ideally I'd like to have a primary partner that I felt comfortable enough with that we could both date other people. At the same time, though, the thought scares me because I fear there'd be too many opportunities for deception and hurt feelings for everyone involved. I guess that's a possibility in any relationship... I dunno.
When I first got together with my current (I'm omitting his name for privacy's sake although he probably wouldn't care), we discussed the idea of being exclusive until we'd been together for years and our relationship was stable enough to take on the additional strain. I feel like our relationship is stronger now than ever, but I'd still like to maybe even wait til after marriage to open it up. Not only that, but I'd rather like to not rock the boat. We're enjoying a bit of calm in a relationship that has had a few kinks to be worked out. It gets more confusing because of the attraction I've had towards women. Logically I think it'd be best to wait, but impulsively I want to lay every pretty girl I see these days
I feel like my sex life is suffering a bit, simply because I grow bored with familiarity pretty easily, and I find my mind wandering when he and I are having sex. I've noticed myself thinking about girls when I'm with him, and I've been encouraging him more than ever to dress and act more feminine. It's partially because I know it's part of himself he'd like to express, but a lot of it is because I know it'd turn me on to make love with someone of a girlier persuasion.