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Old 06-05-2012, 08:26 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

There are quite a few mono people who are members here, so you are not alone. Perhaps a few of them will respond. One mono member, Sage, hasn't been here in a while because her life has gotten quite busy, but she actually wrote a short e-book for monos in poly/mono relationships and used to have it available on her blog. She's taken the blog down, but she did share a Mono's Bill of Rights she had written once. Maybe you will find it, or some of it, helpful:

Originally Posted by sage View Post
The Mono Bill of Rights
  • We have a right to complete honesty and full disclosure.(this doesn't mean we need details, or to be told everytime there is a text or phone call. I hope everyone here understands the difference?)

  • We have the right to know that our safety, and the safety of any children we have is taken seriously. This includes physical, emotional/psychological and sexual safety.

  • We have the right to meet, or at least communicate with our partner's other love interests if we choose.

  • We have the right to respect from our partner's other partners, for them to respect our relationship with our partner and not seek to harm it, and for them to respect and adhere to mutually agreed-upon protocols and boundaries.

  • We have the right to expect that polyamorous relationships are conducted in such a way that respects the financial structures existing in our relationship with our polyamorous partner, e.g. where joint funds are limited money should not be spent taking other love interests on vacation.

  • Where our partner's ability to maintain other relationships relies on us taking on extra responsibilities we have the the right to expect a corresponding amount of time be given to us by our partner for ourselves and any interests we may have, e.g. we are not stuck at home and used as a babysitter while our partner is off dating, unless they recipericate.

  • We have the right to expect that our normal emotional relationship needs will be met by our partner as well as extra support to help us cope with the added pressures of being in a poly/mono relationship.

  • If we are interested in trying out another relationship for ourselves we have the right to do this, with a person of EITHER sex, and we have the right to expect our partner's support in this, just as we have supported them.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-05-2012 at 08:31 AM.
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