View Single Post
  #1362  
Old 06-05-2012, 02:53 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,505
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Things are not changed as much as I first thought, although my trust has been thrown to the wall.


Oh ya, and I am dealing with people telling me I'm hypocritical and that I have lots of loves, so I should just suck it up.
First, congrats on holding it together for a couple of days, to the point of realizing that things aren't as bad as it felt at first.

Second, congrats on realizing that it is still broken trust and that will need to be addressed.

Third, fuck other people RP. I'm serious. I could be wrong-God knows I am often enough, but I can't find it in myself to believe that Mono would say that you are being hypocritical.
You're hurt.
You're working together to deal with the cause of that hurt.

It's not hypocritical to expect from someone what they say they are giving you-even if what they offer you is different from what you offer them!

A parent gives a child something COMPLETELY different than what a child gives a parent.

Likewise, what I give GG is TOTALLY different than what he offers me and what I give Maca is different than what he gives me and what I give each of them is different from what I offer the other one!

We're INDIVIDUALS.
You and Mono are different people offering each other what you as INDIVIDUALS can offer and something changed for him-without you being told. That hurts.
It's not hypocrisy to be hurt by it.

To me, based on what I've gleaned thus far, he failed to trust you and in doing so, has given you cause to fear trusting him.
THAT makes PERFECT sense to me.

I depend on the trust in my relationships and using GG (since he's mono) as an example, if he suddenly quit confiding in me-regardless of whether or not there existed a new love in his life-it would be a HUGE problem because my trust would falter. It would falter, because that would be such a significant change from who I understand him to be and who I understand US to be.

So, tell people to screw off if they can't comprehend it. They aren't part of your relationship.

As for you, Mono, PN and boy, hugs hugs hugs hugs.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote