Thank you NovemberRain, i appreciate your comments
ThatGirlInGray: I offered that we should go to counseling when this thing all blew up but he said he'd "rather just be honest with one another now" That is what I
have been doing, but he has just been "telling me what I want to hear". I'm not really sure what purpose that served him but I was kind of floored when he wanted to separate after all the talking and negotiating we had done. I feel kind of shell shocked right now and I told him that this was just another power play on his part, the whole "my way or the highway" stuff.
I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. He is asking me to decide between her or him again. He doesn't get that its not between her and him its between ME and him. I don't want to leave the marriage "for her", I don't want to end the marriage at all. He keeps throwing up the cliche "you cant have your cake and eat it too". **sigh**