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Old 06-04-2012, 12:04 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
Maybe. But, in Woody Allen`s words, "whatever works."

I abhor the idea that a relationship is a bank account with carefully detailed pluses and minuses in blue and red ink, and that the balance between the two columns must never exceed zero, unless you pay interest on the debt.

Things are hardly ever equal. There may be all sorts of variation in the dominant-submissive, poly-mono, bi-straight, spectra between a single couple. And even more changes over time. Some people like doing the cooking, others the dishes.

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What if you enjoy picking up women and I don`t? And you`re perfectly happy with having only me as a male partner? Isn`t that all that matters?

The above question is not merely rhetorical; I despise picking up women. It feels tremendously unnatural to me, I grow a tumor and gray hair, I lose sleep and life expectancy over it, even if pussy is being thrown at me.

So, it would be nice if I had a partner, male or female, who enjoyed doing that for me. The difference between me and your example is that I`d be more than willing to let you (or a girl) roam free with other guys as well, as long as I wasn`t consistently sucking my thumb on chilly nights.
Not really what I was talking about.

More along these lines.
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24242

A more extreme example, but closer to what I was talking about. If no one is having to do something they don't want to then it doesn't fall into the conflict of motives I was discussing.

But I'm getting use to posting after you and then having to explain that what I posted wasn't in response to your post or specific situation just because it came after your post.

The thread being about opening a marriage and the oddities of it - our judgement of different approaches. I see quite a bit of the dynamic I shared. I'm still not sure I have a grasp on compersion, but I'm pretty sure okaying someone to sleep with others only because you think you will gain more sex partners isn't compersion. Add an extra helping of seeing their association with someone else as not a threat because its not a real relationship if its two guys or two women is also disrespectful to all involved. I was just wondering how something like that gets resolved or if its just bound to create more problems.
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