Originally Posted by Vinccenzo
I'm talking about when one person asks for an opening to their monogamous relationship predominantly for them to seek partners of their own gender.
If their current partner only agrees because they don't think the gender the asking partner wants to seek is a sexual threat to them and sees a chance for them to get in the mix - is that person really okay with an open relationship?
As a single person I was not always in a monogamous relationship even if I was sexually active. There were times when I was seeing and being intimate with two different guys and neither of them or I wanted exclusivity to be a part of that at that time. They too were seeing and being intimate with other women at the time.
Those two people could very well not want a committed relationship to be one where I could continue to sleep with other men but they would be fine if I only saw other women partly because they hoped to also be able to have sex with those women. Wouldn't they be doing the same as they were before exclusivity was agreed upon? It doesn't sound like being at peace with the concept of an open relationship to me. It sounds like using someone as bait.
Maybe. But, in Woody Allen`s words, "whatever works."
I abhor the idea that a relationship is a bank account with carefully detailed pluses and minuses in blue and red ink, and that the balance between the two columns must never exceed zero, unless you pay interest on the debt.
Things are hardly ever equal. There may be all sorts of variation in the dominant-submissive, poly-mono, bi-straight, spectra between a single couple. And even more changes over time. Some people like doing the cooking, others the dishes.
What if you enjoy picking up women and I don`t? And you`re perfectly happy with having only me as a male partner? Isn`t that all that matters?
The above question is not merely rhetorical; I despise picking up women.
It feels tremendously unnatural to me, I grow a tumor and gray hair, I lose sleep and life expectancy over it, even if pussy is being thrown at me.
So, it would be nice if I had a partner, male or female, who enjoyed
doing that for me. The difference between me and your example is that I`d be more than willing to let you (or a girl) roam free with other guys as well, as long as I wasn`t consistently sucking my thumb on chilly nights.