Originally Posted by mostlyclueless
It seems wildly dishonest to me to enter into a monogamous relationship, sign a contract saying you'll do that forever, co-mingle your lives in a way that makes it very difficult to extricate yourself, and then tell your spouse you want to change the rules.!
It seems wildly unrealistic to me to believe that you can make a promise never to change / grow / evolve / re-consider in your life. In our case the only thing we promised was that we would stay together as long as we both felt that we were being supported in our personal and mutual growth. Turns out to have worked (34 years) much better than 'till death do us part' stuff...
But I agree, unilateral decision-making is not a recipe for success, and this is probably something that should be sorted out in the beginning before the relationship settles down.