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Old 06-02-2012, 07:42 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,913

I've noticed a trend in my own posting that I think probably holds true for many others. I used to post more. Now I was never a super poster but I would comment, offer suggestions, chat, create a few threads, etc.

I post much less now although I still read frequently. The reason is largely empathy fatigue. I read many posts and my first thought is often that the situation is so completely fucked up that nothing I say would be at all useful. I am amazed that so many other posters try to help those poor fucks. They are better people than I.

Another common reaction I have is about the folks who are rushing headlong, skipping really, right towards the cliff. Now some might slow or stop their heedless skipping but many, maybe most, won't. They will fling themselves right off that cliff regardless of what I post. So I see little point in posting the equivalent of 'Hey watch out for that cliff!' or 'Tough terrain ahead! Be prepared!' to people who won't listen. I'm a big believer in learning from other people fails - and have offered my own fails for their education - but I have very little respect or interest in people who have to learn everything the hard way. To me, that's just as stupid as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I have also tried to explain, politely, to posters why I perceive their posts as creepy. One poster in particular wanted to protect - by fucking - the young, hot women in his life who made poor choices in boyfriends. I didn't expect thank you's or a 'You're right!' because no one likes criticism. I was hoping for a dialogue. I got crickets.

Finally, there are the posters who make me morph into Dr. Phil. I hate Dr. Phil. He's an arrogant, rigidly mainstream, asshole. But there are posts that are so pathetic that I just want to tell them to grow the fuck up, develop a fucking backbone, figure out what you want - not what others want - and go make it happen. And then deal with the consequences without whining.

I realize these first thoughts are not helpful. So I don't post them. However, sometimes, maybe I should.

Here's the reason. I had the same repulsed reaction to the initial post in the 'Teacher and Protector' thread as NYCindie. I didn't post anything because I thought 'headed for the shitstorm - nothing to be done here'.

However, NYCindie did. And without that not so considerate post, we would not have learned that the potential situation in 'Teacher and Protector' is actually not as creepy as I first thought, and apparently the OP has learned some things and is now thinking about stuff she may not have thought about before. Also, without that thread, perhaps Annabelle may not have started this here very productive thread. Maybe NYCindie should have been more diplomatic. But maybe she would not have been heard by the OP or others if she had been more restrained.

I hung out at Poly Perc when I first started exploring. There are neat people there. However, there is also not much going on and I quickly found it boring. The more gentle guidelines are admirable and certainly there sould be a place for gentle poly criticism. But they can contribute to a dull forum, in my opinion. Now I don't want to turn this place into 4chan but I find the current balance generally positive.

And in my more evil moments, I wonder what NeonKas would have done!
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