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Old 06-02-2012, 05:56 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,073

Originally Posted by IrisAwakened View Post
I guess I just wanted to hear about other people's marriages, to see if it was normal to feel this disconnect at this point, or if there is something wrong with our relationship. From what I gather, disconnect happens to everyone, but it doesn't have to and you have to work to keep it at bay.
I just posted a LONG response in another thread that seems to fit here as well:

Short version - hubs and I have always had differing sex drives, which have diverged over time BUT (to quote myself from that post) "For those of us whose primary "love language" is NOT physical affection a mismatch in sex drives is a minor hurdle to overcome. Not much different, in my mind, than couples who differ over how to handle money (a cheapskate married to a spendthrift), or who come from different religious backgrounds. You talk about it, you work on it, you come up with creative solutions - in the meantime you are living your lives and loving each other."

So, part of it depends on how important that "sexual connection" is to the two of you in your marriage.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ

My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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