Originally Posted by kdt26417
Re (from feelyunicorn, Post #13
LOL, damn ... I thought the "debate" was over whether the majority or *everyone*
was intrinsically polyamorous (or nonmonogamous). Kind of refreshing hearing a different viewpoint indeed, thanks for posting that.
As for me, the jury is out. I simply don't know what approximate percentage of intrinsically monogamous or polyamorous people there are. I can't prove that all monogamous/closed relationships are not, well, an abusive form of slavery. But I'm also a big believer in the vast uniqueness of individuals, so I'm usually really skeptical about blanket statements.
I should also note that my sitch is poly-fi; that is, no sex is allowed outside the three-person circle. It's possible that the circle could become a four-person circle, but that would be a painstaking process, and in the meantime, casual hook-ups (or any hook-up without a huge commitment and intro to the circle) are a big no-no (for us). That's kind of another definition for the word "closed."
So, are we abusively subjecting each other to sexual slavery? I guess I can't "prove" we're not, but I can say I don't feel like a slave (or abused).
Anyway, I reckon there's many kinds of closed and/or monogamous relationships. Some are dysfunctional, some not. I'd hesitate to throw out any percentage estimates, you'd really have to be a mind-reader to know for sure.
I`m going by people`s own definitions (as opposed to what`s allegedly intrinsic). I think of social forces as being "natural" if you`d excuse the word. Or, rather, of nature being "unnatural." So, the back-to-nature argument doesn`t vibe well with me.
I know what is. What coulda shoulda woulda been if <insert utopia>, I couldn`t tell you. Nor, could anyone else, I would think.
Among bisexuals there`s the same deal, everyone should be bisexual. Do I really need the whole world to bestow verification upon my sexuality? About those who do, I can`t help but ask myself, "Are they any good in bed?"