Originally Posted by dingedheart
Don't you both get into the topic of settling. He has to reluctantly learn to cope with a wife who needs to fuck other guys and you have to settle for an asexual or non performing sexual spouse.
Really, I don't get why this would be settling? Surely, the whole point of being poly is recognising that people cannot fulfil us completely? I still don't see why I should give up on what is a wonderful relationship just because of this. My husband and I make each other happy. We have been together ten years and have had three arguments in that whole time. Even with the sex issues and the poly stuff we have always had happy, reasonable discussions about it. No tears or tantrums, and lots of laughs. Whatever would possess me to consider that settling?
Seriously, I tried to be mono because I was doing anything other than settling. I chose to be with my husband and every day I continue to choose to be with him. It is an active choice based on what I want.
I will do everything I can to make my husband and I both happy. At the moment we have this one thing which causes us issues (even the sex has gotten better). How many couples can honestly say that?
Oh, and he doesn't do internet forums at all. Everything I write on here is stuff we have discussed.