I agree that there's a lot of unnecessary posturing between the two communities.
My beef with swinging isn't so much about the emotions vs no emotions things. I'm actually a huge fan of recreational sex with good friends and really enjoy it when I have the chance (which is pretty infrequent :\ ). But I have a lot of trouble with the culture of many swinging communities. As a single girl, the couple-centric nature of swinging is a bit off-putting as many couples just like to have that single girl as a living breathing sex toy and there are frequently issues of jealousy or being subject to their boundaries without even considering the boundaries of the single girl. Also the way many swingers encourage female bisexuality but flat out forbid male bisexuality (and pretty much flat out ban any type of trans person) suggests a fairly close minded culture that's being driven by and for the pleasure of the straight man.
Not to say that women can't enjoy themselves in such a context, but such a double standard seems to contribute to the objectification of women. There are swinging communities out there that are much more progressive in their views on gender and sexuality but alas, they are not the majority.
My ideal swing party would be like the Sex Not Bombs room in the movie Shortbus where everyone can bring their whole selves into a room of gushy sexy radical acceptance