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Old 11-30-2009, 04:35 AM
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ourquad ourquad is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: florida
Posts: 83

I've avoided this thread because I've addressed it before. Then it dawned on me that I do not think I have addressed it on this forum.

Yes, we landed in a polyamorous relationship via swinging.

No, I do not think the two camps are mutually exclusive to each other. I do know of swingers who are open to polyamory and polyamorist who swing. Sometimes only part of the poly relationship swing and sometimes they all do so as a group...I'm thinking of two particular triads that I know do this a MFF triad and one a MFM triad.

I am not currently swinging at the time. But I do, however, consider myself a swinger. It's a mentality thing. The same as I would still consider myself poly if I weren't in more than one relationship at this time.

I do not truly understand the apathy each camp, poly and swinging, seem to have for one another. Like I said I have addressed this topic before...on another poly forum and on a swingers forum. The truth is, both lifestyles are out of the mainstream. As poly, we wish others would accept our lifestyle more easily. As swingers, we wish we didn't have to hide that either. Both are examples of non-monogamy.

Most swingers want to stay as far away from letting emotions enter into things. Most poly seem to not be able to imagine not letting emotions be a part of things. It boils down to that is the choices each have made. If we don't want our choices condemned, we shouldn't condemn theirs.

Both camps run into to people with preconceived notions of what is involved in each. Some think we both are just looking for ways to cheat. Some think that a poly person is just stating they require emotions to avoid the stigma of just wanting to fuck. Some say swingers claim just fucking so that they can believe no feelings will develop. And, yes, I have truly had those very things said to me.

Some people think poly and swingers are all the same. That there is no distinction between them.

Me, I say, for some of us, we can certainly have recreational sex and fuck for just the sake of fucking. And we can certainly have true, deep emotional, loving relationship with others that just happen to include fucking.

What do both camps have in common the most? That the agreements between partners should be open, honest and consensual. Each has a tendency to have guidelines or boundaries of some kind.

Ok, yes, I have definite opinions on the subject. Sorry if I came across harsh.
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