Originally Posted by redpepper
For someone so surrounded I feel so alone sometimes. My friend and I thought that this might be a middle age thing. It used to be easy to just talk to anyone and let it all out, but I find that harder and harder to do. There doesn't seem to be anyone that understands entirely, or is willing to be there entirely. I seem to have half relationships all over the place because people don't talk to me, don't express their inner selves. As a result I find it hard to let myself bond and continue attachments myself. Its a chicken and the egg thing.
I totally get this! I don't think it's a middle age thing as it's something I've struggled with my whole life. It's just now at middle age
, that I'm starting to change a few things. For a long time, I never thought I would have friends that I could bond with (20+ years). Accepting that certain friends are always going to be a bit on the outskirts, while others I will drop everything for made a big difference for me. There are a few that I will drop everything for out of obligation (because they have done the same for me), but acknowledging that to myself makes it easier and oddly enough, less of an "obligation" and more of gratitude. It is devastating to realize someone your thought you were bonding with doesn't feel the same.