Thank you for the feedback!!!
I was able to take a step back knowing things are so hightened. Hubby and I were able to talk without so much charged emotion.
Before I go there I did want to respond that I have been there. Hubby had emergency surgery (aren't we the pair lol) and it is definitely agony sitting in the waiting room worrying. In that time anyone else can go fly a kite. I have zero emotional energy to deal with anyone else. I also have zero interest to use someone sexually for an outlet. But I realize Hubby and I are very different.
I don't understand the need for sex to cope. But I can understand while it's not for me using sex as a stress reliever is normal. I don't think it is fair to try to change Hubby. So I promised Hubby to make the conscious decision to not take it personally & to accept him as he is.
Hubby was able to address my concerns. He said he actually doesn't have an interest in talking to others while I'm in surgery or ICU. He intends to meditate, watch movies, read sports etc... I appreciate the suggestion to not limit while in surgery but while he is in the room with me while I'm in ICU at least.
I did aknowlege to him that he wasn't daft about my feelings and perhaps I took personally something that wasn't. He only texted after we had done our discussing about what to do & had made our decision to go ahead with surgery. And when I asked him to say goodnight for the evening and watch a movie with me to disconnect from things he happily obliged. Maybe I was busting his balls to much & taking my fear about what was going on on him.
I did talk about my fears or disinterest in dealing with taking the relationship to the next level tomorrow. He shared that though they were sexting there was no talk of or plan to act anything out tomorrow. While it may be her home he is keeping it professional because he is seeing her in the capacity that it is her place of work. He said he was excited to get to know more about her and he may kiss her goodbye but he had not intention of getting sexually involved that quickly. He also suggested I do something fun for me while he's gone to 1. Not feel like I'm being left out 2. Because I need an outlet to let go of the stress of what is going on.
I feel kinda foolish now - total over reaction. Its been a very stressful couple of months with my health and emotions have run high. I'm excited to get this surgery behind us and to go back to our life feeling better and not spread so thin I'm about to break.
Last edited by PolyCurious4; 05-31-2012 at 04:28 PM.