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Old 05-31-2012, 12:46 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
Is it really so unreasonable to ask that people try to think a little more about how their words might be perceived by others?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
...I feel it's rather ridiculous to claim that asking people to work on how they communicate is unreasonable, especially on a relationships forum where we espouse over and over how important communication is! Yes, it's the internet, and yes, we're mostly strangers to each other, but I don't see those as reasons to treat what we say to each other or how we say it as less important.

It's not going to be perfect and misunderstandings will certainly still occur, I just can't understand the people who seem to be against even trying. It doesn't make sense to me.
I think it is rather arrogant to assume that the authors of the posts you find offensive didn't think about what they were writing, or that they do not consider the impact of their words as important. Are you appointing yourself the arbiter of kind and helpful posts now? Just because you and 100 other people don't like what was written nor how it was written, does not mean it was thoughtlessly, carelessly, or vindictively written. Yes, believe it or not, oftentimes a great deal of thought and consideration goes into posts that could possibly be received as harsh. It seems you are trying to apply your subjective taste onto other people, as if your preferences are the standards we should all use.

You remind me of the people that get bent out of shape if someone bumps into or brushes up against them in a crowded subway car. Hello? It's the subway, if you have a problem with crowds and having strangers in close proximity, take another means of transportation or get in a less crowded car. But bitching and moaning about it isn't going to change the fact that we're all jammed in here like sardines and have to be in close contact with strangers. In other words, it takes all kinds of people to make up a community and sometimes there are people you like and others you avoid and ignore. This is a public forum on the internet and, for the most part, people stay within the guidelines and if they do not, the Moderators step in. Perhaps you are being unrealistic in your expectations and wanting people to post the way you think they should.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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