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Old 05-31-2012, 12:38 PM
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jones jones is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: stoke
Posts: 125

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Lying is quite often a major barrier to the trust that is required in order to have a good, happy relationship. It takes a lot of work on the part of the people that lied to try to mend that.

Have you talked about this with them? Talked about how, because of what happened, you are struggling to trust them? If so, what was their reaction?

I have spoke to my bf and the girl, my bf says its in the past and I need to get over and I need to forgive him and forget about it. the girl says I need to be happy etc but she knows that I am uncomfortable with her doing certain things but she doesn't stop, its so hard because I love her too but sometimes I hate her. I am struggling that they lied and what if they lie again.

my bf doesn't want anymore children but she risked getting pregnant with his child, they didn't use a condom and she had to take the pill and didn't tell her bf in order to protect her relationship with my bf and now her bf thinks she miscarried. She said once that her bf wouldn't mind being a father regardless of who the father was but what about me or my children.

it seems like they care but they just want me to get over it so they can be happy....

Here is an article on the concept of an Emotional Bank Account which I have found very useful in understanding this sort of dynamic.

I think it might explain some of what you have been facing - maybe it can help you get a better handle on things to communicate your needs to your partners.

This stuff is very difficult, and requires real teamwork from all involved to make work again.
thanks for replying xx
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