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Old 05-31-2012, 03:14 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,982

This discussion has been going on a while now, and I don't see any reason to interrupt such discourse at all, but I wanted to take this opportunity to haul out some key portions of the user guidelines that I think apply to this discussion, and is worth all members new and old to read and consider from time to time.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post

These discussion boards were founded to provide space for all manner of discussion about polyamory, a form of ethical non-monogamy. The intent is to provide a venue to speak frankly about the personal issues and relationship issues involved in balancing multiple relationships at one time. The founder and moderation staff hope that site members can find kindred souls to offer support and insight in a civil and possibly friendly, caring fashion, though the latter is certainly not a given when considering the nature of the Internet.

•Why We’re Here

Our site founder, Olivier, founded the boards for the purpose of creating an environment where people can find help, respect, and support for their situations. is intended to be an informative place, where poly folk can come for friendly discussion, support from peers, and a bit of TLC. That’s not to say that everybody found on the boards will be the sort of person you’d share a coffee with to chat, nor that the conversations will always be warm and friendly; we only work to ensure that discussions remain civil.

•What’s Expected and Allowed

First and foremost, we expect members to respect these guidelines. We have rules in place to ensure that we can offer our members a place to discuss issues that is free from ..., overwrought drama, and generally boorish behavior. This forum is a home of sorts, and where we wouldn't allow salesmen to work our holiday parties nor drunken jackasses to abuse other dinner guests, we won't allow that sort of thing here, either.
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post

We want to point out that not everybody involved will communicate in the same fashion. There are bound to be sparks flying at times, as people with different discussion styles come in conflict. We don’t mind that. We also expect folks who engage in those discussions to exhibit a good deal of restraint and work out the issues through continued communication—you know, that communication thing that is so important to relationships!

Should you ever wonder if somebody’s trying to insult you or demean you or otherwise deliberately hurt your feelings, we’d like you to ask for clarification. Indeed, if you’re feeling put out by another member, instead of making a mess on the boards, take it to private messaging and ask what’s going on. We imagine a majority of perceived personal slights could be laid to rest through simply asking what’s going on in a PM.
Something that people may want to consider in using to gauge themselves... how do you behave when you have dinner guests over at your place... and how might that differ from how you would treat other dinner guests when at a friend's house?

That is all.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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