View Single Post
  #12  
Old 05-30-2012, 08:45 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 6,711
Default

Re:
Quote:
"As mentioned my partner is not a great communicator and feels very burdened by all the constant discussions on feelings/wants/needs/etc."
Make sure your partner understands that you know the extra communication is tough on him. Make sure he also understands that you need him to push out of his "comfort zone envelope" as much as he can. Take a step back and don't "push" quite as much for communication, but see if he will "push" for it a little more than what he's used to on his own. This way, you're both compromising a little for each other.

Re:
Quote:
"Is the latter a benefit or a compromise (I open the relationship, he commits fully)? Ideas on this point are welcome."
I'd say it was a compromise if it was as simple as that, but you did mention your freedom to explore your sexuality and perhaps even your own boundaries vis--vis loving someone/more than one person, so there you're getting a second benefit, depending on how signficant you feel that benefit is.

Re:
Quote:
"The cons are the jealousy, the fear of abandonment that is still prevalent, the fear of STD's, my craving for a domestic life which could perhaps be jeopardized by someone else's wish to do the same with him (again, my fears that I am not a/the priority come into play), etc. -- Are these the symptoms of all poly newbies? Are they signs? Again, insight welcome."
They are symptoms of poly newbies and poly old hats. They are legitimate concerns, and should be addressed. The STD thing is a big deal; safe sex practices are paramount to the rules you and your partner follow.

Re:
Quote:
"How important in a polyamorous relationship is fluid bonding (besides the health question, obviously)?"
Oh, I think it's very subjective. Some people crave fluid bonding, others, not so much. I think it's wise to get a clean bill of health from everyone before proceeding with fluid bonding.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote