I'm new here too and finding this site really helpful. I never really knew anything about polys until my wife had the courage to bring it up to me. I was pretty caught off guard, but the more I've been reading, the more I realize that this could be something that helps us maintain our relationship for the long haul, rather than being the beginning of the end. The first thing she shared with me was a NY Times interview with Dan Savage - it was a good way to open the conversation in a non-threatening way, since the article really emphasized a lot of myths about open relationships and why they're wrong. I hope you find what you're looking for here and find a way to reach out to your husband.