I just came back from a holiday with friends. It was great, I really enjoyed it!
One of the friends I traveled with is the one who introduced me to Bob years ago. She's one of my closest friends and she and Bob are also really good friends. She is just an amazing person! She is mono herself but I have a feeling she really truly understands me, and even more importantly, wants
to understand. So she asks questions and really tries to get inside my head and I think it's awesome. The situation between me and Bob was a bit confusing for her in the beginning but she got over it very quickly. Now she teases me about him quite often, which is cool. If we can joke about it, I think it says that it's not awkward for her, it's not a taboo or anything. And we can talk about it seriously as well, so I think we're okay with the subject. During the holiday we had a great conversation about my feelings and how I see this situation which is inevitably temporary. At first she had some difficulties wrapping her mind around the concept of being involved with someone knowing that it's going to end soon. I told her it took me some processing too, but after processing I really feel like I want to enjoy life now and let my emotions flow freely and not worry about the future that I'm not going to have with Bob. At some point she said something that made me cry because at that moment I felt like she really understood me. It was something about two ships passing in the night and stopping for a moment (in our case a few months) to enjoy each other's company and then continuing their journey onwards, which can also be a beautiful thing and a nice memory to think about afterwards. Exactly!
I'm missing rory quite intensely at the moment because we haven't spoken in 5 days now. We have a skype date tomorrow which is great. I'm also going to see her in 10 days so that's not too bad anymore. I'm really looking forward to it! I really want to reconnect with her.
Me and JJ are going through a kind of a rough patch right now. Things are not perfect. Our problems have nothing to do with poly though. I'm just not sure if our lives are going to the same direction. We might want too different kinds of things from life to be able to fit them all in a live-in partnership. Trust is also still an issue for me and I'm not sure when it's coming back. I don't know, time will tell I guess.