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Old 05-29-2012, 02:53 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by RainbowBrite View Post
Since we were being open I expressed to her that I feel the sexual aspect of our relationship is lacking. I told her that I desired and needed more from her. I expressed concern that since we currently have sex once a week and sometimes only once a month that if she was exploring sex with others then I would be even more sexually unfulfilled.

Since talking we have begun to stretch our sexual boundaries together and do things that she has done with other partners but not me. I am very open to trying new things sexually and she has taught me how to please her in different ways. This has made a big difference in how we connect with one another. She has also since stated that she is confused about what she wants in regards to the poly lifestyle.
My main reply is below, but I want to say I think this is really fabulous. That you both could stretch and give this way.

Originally Posted by RainbowBrite View Post
Based off on your own experiences how did you know that you were truly poly?
I didn't really 'know' I was poly at some point. At some unknown mysterious point, I fell in love with two men. (I have a blog in the Life Stories and Blogs section) I had dated the one (I call him First BoyFriend, FBF) and we broke up and I dated, then moved in with the other (CurrentBoyFriend, CBF). Then I made him move out, although we eventually decided to continue seeing each other. Then FBF mentioned he still had some powerful feelings for me. CBF had always joked that he would share me, and he has lots of friends who are poly. So I said, 'what if it was for real?' and here we are, my little vee. Both of them are monogamous to me. I'm poly by default since I have two of them.

Originally Posted by RainbowBrite View Post
Does monogamy work if one partner does desire a poly relationship? She is very concerned that I will leave her now that I know this and her friends and family have all told her that I will leave her within three months and that she has destroyed our relationship. I do not feel this way. I intend to spend my life with this woman and she feels the same. She has stated that she would rather be with me than explore this new side to her. Do you think this will work?
If you are monogamous, as redpepper said, that doesn't mean your partner can't (inherently) be polyamorous.

I do recommend you both stop sharing those particular bits with your friends and family. She doesn't need people bringing her down, I'm sure she's confused enough without the input of people who know nothing about it. Your intimate life is none of their business, whether you're mono OR poly.

I can't say if it will 'work', but I do see that you and she care for each other deeply, and I have high hopes that care can see you through.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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