Next Stage Mono/Poly
I'm in the process of opening up my 10 year long mono relationship. I'm poly, he's mono. I'm kink, he's vanilla. We've been opening up for about 10 months (my other thread outlines the very beginning of that process!). So far I have been building the trust and haven't been doing much other than flirting, hugging and being open to developing connections: all agreed by my husband. I've even turned down offers from some amazingly sexy people! *sigh*
Finally I met someone. My husband agreed we could have internet sex. It has been going on a couple of months now. I want to take it to the next logical step and have actual sex with the guy. I am scared my husband will veto the situation and then decide to pull the plug totally.
It is complicated by the fact that it is a BDSM LDR (way to go on picking them!). I am worried he only approved the relationship because it is an LDR. On the plus side, I think because it is BDSM it is less threatening for him.
I'm feeling my patience wearing thin but I don't want to lose my husband, I just don't know how well I will take it if veto is invoked. I'm scared of upsetting my husband and also worried I will lose what I have been building with my play-partner.
Any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? Commiserations?