Healthy means she has to, at some point, follow her heart. My partner said the same things. I compromised for three years. I went at his pace. He said also he would never be able to be with me if I had other men come into my life. I honoured that because I loved him. Eventually he saw that I really do love him and am committed to him yet love others. We negotiated that he would be fine with me having emotional connections with others so I had a non-sexual boyfriend. It wasn't until that boyfriend dumped me and he saw my pain that he realised that I loved him as much as I do him. For some reason that changed everything for him. You can read my blog (Dec 2010 until Jan 2012) and his stuff here. He wrote a lot about our journey together.
Its really hard, I don't envy where you are at. Sometimes it all just has to play out, take a risk, see what happens, baby steps.
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Last edited by redpepper; 05-28-2012 at 10:38 PM.