I can accept this aspect of her but I know that I will not and cannot have a poly relationship. I know myself and I know and have expressed to her that I cannot kiss her goodnight or make love to her knowing that she has just been with someone else. I do not take issue with her having friendships with others and caring for others but I do not want her to be intimate with them. I have explained to her if that this is the kind of relationship she desires and must have then we cannot be together. I told her I would always love her and I would understand (but of course be hurt) if that is the decision that she makes. She has expressed that she does not want that at all.
She is the most caring and compassionate person I have ever known and that is why I love her so much. Perhaps her big heart is why she wants to be intimate with others but because of my heart I do not want that.
Yes, at first my self esteem was wounded by the idea of my partner being attracted to other women and desiring them. It made me feel like there was something I was lacking, that I wasn't attractive to her. However she has expressed this isn't the case and I believe her.
I don't know. I just know that I want our relationship to work, last and be healthy. And at the same time I know that I am unwilling to give when it comes to outside sexual relations.