Yep, nycindie, you're quite right.
In this particular case, it was more complicated then "I just need a processing break" (in the end) It was also - "I don't think we can do the processing that we need to do long-distance." "I don't want to be a drag on you" etc. But turns out it wasn't so bad. Skype is way way better than text chat, shoulda tried this long ago.
But yes, I hear you. Definitely need to take space I need. Bubble baths are good! I recently had a bath bath, like someone drew an old-fashioned bath for me - wow. My cousin who lives nearby has a bath at her place, will hit her up for that sometime.
re: vulnerability, I guess what we actually agreed was that it's part and parcel of what's good about relationships rather than the primary purpose. "The whole point" was a tad hyperbolic, I admit
Just planning a trip away by myself travelling for a month later this year - a couple of weeks with a friend in the US and then hopefully hopefully sailing for 2 1/2 weeks with another friend and his dad! So yup, most certainly getting the time off for me that I need
You bring up some good, challenging thoughts nycindie; I enjoy the way you counter-point