View Single Post
Old 05-27-2012, 11:14 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,052
Default stresssssss

I am so stressed financially, it's just crazy. Have to do my surfing at Starbuck's or wherever I can get free wi-fi, 'cause my cable's been suspended - and that means no tv, home phone, or internet til I make a payment. Cell phone's been disconnected, too. And I have til Wed. to pay my gas & electric or I will lose service. I owe them all 2 or three months worth, plus I am behind on my rent so will probably have to go to court this week.

My freelance clients all pay net 30, net 45, and some even net 90, and I will have money... eventually. It just so happens that I'm in a period without cash flow that I could not meet all my payment arrangements when they came due, and I couldn't get any more extensions. It seems that telling my providers I'll be able to pay them someday isn't concrete enough, LOL. Plus, no student loan til September, which is what I've mostly been living on. It sucks. I need a job, because my freelance work isn't enough to support me, and I've applied to a gazillion positions, but get very few responses. I have never walked around for this long with absolutely no money to my name. I don't really have any family to rely on. My divorce is still in limbo, so no settlement yet, plus I owe my lawyer a ton of money too, so every time I send an email or call, all I can think of is the time she will bill me for.

So, I'm trying to sell stuff on craigslist and eBay that will bring in a good chunk, like my furniture, but I can't count on that. I keep getting messages from scammers. I try not to get too depressed, but it ain't easy.

I know things will work out, but this week, I keep noticing homeless women about my age, and for the first time in my life I am terrified that it could be a reality for me. I grew up in poverty and overcame so much to leave home and make it on my own in NYC at age 23, so it's hard to believe I'm in this position. <heavy sigh>
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 04:52 AM.
Reply With Quote