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Old 05-27-2012, 09:59 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I think it's sort of funny (or telling, perhaps?) how you call others' attraction toward you being "targeted."

Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryMuse View Post
I guess what I'm wondering right now is: how do I know if they are wanting it to "go there"?
Ummm... ask him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
However if I did want to go there, and it was starting to eat at me not knowing, I don't think I'd drop hints, all that vague signal watching...
Neither could I. I'd want to know what was going on, so I'd ask. But it doesn't have to be a big, heavy, serious conversation. You can be lighthearted and relaxed while still direct and straightforward.

If you were me, next time he flirts and says stuff about you being his unofficial gf, I would kind of breezily, sort of jokingly say something like, "Nah, let's just make it official!" and see what he says. Or I'd just say, "Are you serious when you say that? 'Cause you got me thinking about it and I wouldn't mind, you know!" or something breezy like that. I'm sure that either way, it would invite more serious discussion.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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