Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray
I'd ask the mods to do something about it but they can be as harsh and judgmental as other posters.
Ahhh, that sucks that you think that.
Its so easy to read things different ways in text. I am always willing to act as a go between, regardless of my judgement. As a mod I like to think I am not bias. As a poster here and long time member I most definitely have opinions. Don't we all? Its only human to judge. We all have an opinion. What kind of forum would this be without people expressing their opinions, challenging what someone is saying, asking questions to get to the bottom of an issue and yes, judging.
PP, your "I have an idea" phase has certainly cranked up the forum, lol.
Glad you're hanging in there, we can be a protective bunch when it comes to what seems like a woman who is young and vulnerable in a heartbreaking situation. It seems to me that everyone who responded with judgement here was attempting to shake you up. It seems with the intent of altering your perspective on how SHE might feel and see the situation. An attempt at getting you and your husband to empathise rather than think of this love of his as a one sided deal. Hopefully she's a self assured woman that can read the offer you make for her self and decide what would work best for her own health now and in the future.
If she decided to accept what you offer she would not be the first we have heard of on these forums. There has been many that have come here looking for a situation such as you describe and many who have found themselves in similar situations.
We have had several stories of women betrayed by the couples that have offered protection, financial help, a roof over their head, love from two people in a parent child kind of way or owner pet kind of way (not saying this is what you are necessarily offering, just how it has sometimes come across in what you have said here). We have had some success stories too. Success seems to come with everyone in the triad being an equal. That is able to move in whatever direction that they see fit in their life, including having babies and other partners. If that is uncomfortable for you I would suggest not getting involved with anyone until you are able to accept whatever the future brings as I don't believe its within your control.
If you are interested in reading other stories you will find them by searching in the tags for "moving in" "secondary" "secondarie" "primary/secondary" and "unicorns" if you go to the tag cloud you will find other options too.