I've stayed out of this whole thing so far, because I really don't have much to say. (So why am I saying anything now? Just because
I think having people who approach things differently on this board is a great thing. It prepares people for the various reactions they are going to have when they go talk about anything poly-related in the real world. Some people are going to be perceived as harsh, some as overly understanding/coddling, some as completely ignorant of any issues that may arise. People are different, this forum reflects that through the way we all interact.
When I say things that sound harsh, I do feel kind of bad (Midwest guilt sticking with me, I guess), but if I think it is what the person needs to read, I'll say it anyway. Even if I misunderstand something, hopefully that poster can realize WHY they were misunderstood and refine his/her/their own ability to portray the situation accurately. Is it my fault if a few facets were glossed over and I got this overwhelming feeling that someone is trying to take advantage of someone else? No. Is it my fault if someone makes a situation sound so perfect so I say congrats or some other supportive statement when in reality there is some heinous treatment of people going on? No.
It's all about what we are presented with and how we interpret that. People can take or leave the advice we give and comments we make, but overall I think even the posts that are taken as attacking can be helpful in the long run - as long as they really are trying to give some sort of insight and aren't just straight up attacks.