Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
I would like to modify that, though - If I am poly in my heart (I use the term "wired for poly") then I need to feel free to act on it. I don't need to actually act on it, just to know that I am not limited. It may seem a fine distinction to you, but for me it's an important one.
I agree with this; it really resonates with me, too. I would never again agree to an indefinitely closed relationship, but might be able to be de facto exclusive for a long while.
OP, it might be possible for you and your husband to work on your marriage while remaining closed/exclusive with the idea/understanding that you will need it re-opened later
. For me (I'm also having marriage issues), this is not so much an option, because I am already involved in another relationship that I am not willing to end. But if I am reading your post right, you are not involved with anyone at the moment; you just want to be able to be later. That seems like a natural place for compromise with your husband.