"When people respond to your replies with phrases like "I came here for advice on my feelings from people I thought would have a better sense of if what I was feeling was normal for this type of venture or not. I think what I've gotten is a clear picture of I don't belong here." I think it may be time to re-evaluate your communication style."
To be fair, the OP on that thread faced an overwhelmingly negative response, from many posters, of which NYC was only one. And, in fact, that same OP came back to the thread and apologized for what she called her "small tantrum". NYC then asked her some further questions, to which she responded.
Was the overall tone on that thread more harsh than warranted? I think so, personally. It was definitely firmly in my mind when I posted this, and I think that what that same OP went on to say about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar is one of the central questions I was getting at when I started this -- that's one approach, bluntness is another. So let's discuss the ideas, rather than the validity of any one individual's advice-giving. I do think, for the record, that while personal experience is important, reading many many people's stories and sifting out the lessons can also give you important perspective.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 05-26-2012 at 05:00 PM.