View Single Post
Old 05-26-2012, 01:35 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,796

Anneintherain: can totally relate!

MrS is a phenomenal "picker-outer" of gifts (and other stuff). I will, very occasionally (like once every few YEARS) see something that someone I know would absolutely LOVE and get it for them. (I hate shopping and I hate spending money so these are most likely going to be awesome garage sale/flea market/used book store "finds.") I am not a very good "receiver" of gifts either - unless it is one of those "you know me so well - how did I survive all these years without owning this particular item" gifts.

So how did we handle this gift giving language discrepancy? Early in our marriage we decided that we wouldn't give each other "occasion" (birthday, xmas, etc) gifts. If he saw something that he thought I "had to have" he could get it for me as a random present (like my string of black pearls that I got years ago - he hands me a gift box, I ask "what's this for?", he said "Just for Tuesday"). On my end I put a certain amount of our budget in a savings account for him to spend on his "toys" without having to consult with me first (he actually doesn't like to receive his "toys" as presents - it will inevitably be the wrong model or not have a certain option or whatever, he puts a lot of research into his toys and is disappointed if it is the wrong one.)

This actually extends to our families as well - once all of our siblings had kids (we don't have any), I announced that we would no longer be buying presents for anyone over 18 - money not spent on the kids' gifts would be going to their college accounts. (MrS has an awesome time internet shopping for our nieces and nephews - and they get the COOLEST stuff!)

Jane("Acts of Service")Q

PS. I don't like cards either - so I don't send them. My best friend gets really upset if she doesn't get a card from someone for her birthday - she makes an exception for me...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 05-26-2012 at 01:42 PM.
Reply With Quote