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Old 05-26-2012, 08:30 AM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default Sha-ZAM!

ThatGirl: Remind me to not get in a back-alley fight with you..... ever. I agree, completely with your points.

RP: Being a newer member of the forum gives me a different perspective on things, I think. For me, it's easier for those with some grounding and experience to "take things with a grain of salt." I know it's becoming easier for me already! However, I think it's more challenging for those floundering and trapped in a place way out of their depth who are here (desperately) hoping to find help from people with wisdom and experience. From a purely philosophical perspective, I can see your point, but when it comes down to needing serious advice to help ground you, I don't think it's the right time to be "letting go of ideas of what your reality is." Often people come here in an extremely vulnerable state, lost, confused and needing guidance. To me, being harsh, brushing them off, or being impatient doesn't seem like the best approach! That being said, you seriously know your stuff, and I respect your wisdom in regards to poly, this forum, and how it is run. You are living proof that poly works, and works well.

NYCyndie: I have no doubts that you're receiving positive feedback. With up to eight postings a day (totaling a mind-boggling 4,464 posts over the past 18 months), you're bound to hear back from a certain percentage of people who you have assisted with your research and ideas. I know that when I was feeling particularly judged and attacked by you (in my blog, no less) I read your blog, and quickly came to the realization that you were a woman operating largely from a research/opinion perspective, who had very little actual poly relationship experience. I would like to suggest that you treat people with a little more gentleness and consciousness. When people respond to your replies with phrases like "I came here for advice on my feelings from people I thought would have a better sense of if what I was feeling was normal for this type of venture or not. I think what I've gotten is a clear picture of I don't belong here." I think it may be time to re-evaluate your communication style.

Annabel: This thread has been super interesting. Thank you for being so thoughtful as to have started it - speaks volumes of your character. It would seem that there is a growing group that is committed to standing up to ensure that newbies are treated with respect and care. Shoot, I wonder if there should be a "welcoming committee" with a "forum orientation" that is presented to people in the introductions area! Might be an idea....
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