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Old 05-25-2012, 10:27 PM
noob noob is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blytheandbonny View Post

I had difficulty processing the rest of PassionFlower's story after reading about the secret infidelity at the start of it. Seems to me that cheating and being poly have nothing at all in common.
They have non-monogamy in common. One is ethical, one is not. Some poly folks start out cheaters because they don't know another way. It's not defensible, but it's somewhat understandable IMO.

Quote:
I should have left, sought counseling, found another solution waaaay before I did. He rained down abuse on me for years that I tolerated, rationalized, and honestly, invited. Recovering from the damage he inflicted might take me a lifetime.
He didn't do this stuff because you cheated--he did this because he was a jerk. Cheaters don't deserve abuse; no one does. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Quote:
He still didn't deserve that, though, and I do believe it made me a monster.
Well, I guess that's why you tolerated his abuse, then.
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