Thread: D/s and poly
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Old 11-30-2009, 12:01 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

The funny thing is-that's how I am ALL THE TIME. In fact it's something that has driven Maca crazy-because I'm SO much like that he sometimes feels like I don't care about our stuff-because I'm not possessive about him doing/saying/being in any situation with anyone else.

I honestly think-after more time to digest-that my reaction was more due to the fact that our life has been in a huge upheaval these last few weeks and I was needing to "land" so to speak before talking about jumping out of another plane.

Because really-it wouldn't matter what he did/said or with whom-I adore him and I'll never leave.

It's RARE that I have a moment when I just NEED to be taken care of. But right now is one. I'm having a serious medical problem (not new-just flared up again) that is going to require more hospital time, we just came out poly 2 months ago, I finally confessed about my Sub feelings for the first time in my life, he had his "night with someone else" first time in our marriage (arranged by me), my Godkids mom up and took off leaving us to clean up the mess, a friend is in crisis and needs help with her child and is moving in, we startd counseling and he realized he has to do his own counseling for his issues with his mom, another very close young friend "came out" gay and needs some emotional support, etc ALL in the last two months.

I sort of feel like OMG WHY did I say anything??? Because it sort of feels like telling him I was poly started this whole drama. I KNOW that isn't true-but life was pretty calm before I told him and then ALL of the rest of this plus holidays comes out.

Anyway-we agreed that right now we BOTH need some time to just catch our breaths and then we'll talk more and that alone was enough for me to say (to myself) "what do I REALLY care?" and the answer was "really it just doesn't matter".

BUT it also helped A LOT to hear all the feedback because all the questions and confusion helped me to "study" my feelings to the base to figure myself out.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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