Alexandra, like I said in my last post in this thread, you have answered your questions far better than any of us ever could.
But I will hone in on one specific thing. If the ONLY ISSUE is how you are treated by these females in your own home, and if you are as much of a spitfire as you claim to be and have demonstrated that you can be to us, then why don't you just say to them "Hey look, you're in MY HOME. If you can't treat me with the respect and dignity that you would expect to receive in YOUR home, then there's the door. Shape up or ship out." Period. Non-negotiable.
I fail to see why you require your husband to do this FOR you. The only thing I can think of is that he pays all the bills and supports you financially so you don't feel that it is your place to criticize his "guests".
Furthermore, I'd wager that he probably HAS had sex with some of his girlfriends and that is why he wished that you had had an affair instead of trying to be forthcoming with regards to your boyfriend - it would level the playing field, so to speak. But you are right; I couldn't POSSIBLY know that (especially if YOU don't know it). What I do know however, is that some of the most controlling and hypocritical people in history have also been among the most charming and charismatic. So if it seems offensive and improper that I'm suggesting your husband might have a darker side that you're only beginning to uncover, then that is how it will have to seem. If it seems like I'm "having a go" at you, then that too is unfortunate; I can see how it is easier to be pissed at me for giving you my opinion than it is to confront someone you've lived with for so long and have to deal with every day.
You say those girls remind you of yourself when you were their age; well, I'm a few years YOUNGER than you and your CURRENT situation reminds me of myself 15 or 20 years ago or so. Of course I only know you from what you have written here, but go back and look, it is a fair chunk of change, even though I am SURE you have barely even scratched the surface.
Believe me, I have nothing to gain from being "nasty" to you. I am not one of those girls that your husband makes "feel amazing". I wish you would stand up to them (and by extension, to your husband), the way you just stood up to me and the other folks on this forum. If you want to think of me as your enemy just because I gave you my raw anonymous opinion on an internet message forum, that's also your choice to make. You don't owe anyone an explanation, and no one owes you the answers that you want to hear.
Have a good life.
Last edited by NeonKaos; 11-30-2009 at 12:06 AM.
Reason: I keep adding to this and I'm gonna force myself to stop now.