Boba said it.
You've suddenly changed the rules of the game. Take it slow and expect it to be hard. The only way through is to stay with that hardness with tenderness. Meaning don't get angry that she just doesn't get it. If she's willing to engage in the conversation, she's doing more than many. Appreciate it.
But it may be a fundamental incompatibility. They sometimes crop up in relationships. Doesn't mean either party is a bad person. When this happens you have to move on, mourn your loss and find a new path.
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”