my apologies, merely my interpretation.
my self esteem is the best it's been in my life. it is and almost always has been pretty good. I'm a little confused as to what makes you believe differently. the reason I'm not demanding a completely equal relationship right now is not because she intimidates me or anything like that, it is because she asked for time to take care of her issues. I will admit, i don't care for the inequality, but it is only for a few more months.
I'm not quite sure how she is dealing with her issues. specifically jealousy and her self-esteem (specifically that she won't stop believing i want poly because of some negative attribute she thinks she possesses). I take several types of dance classes (ballet, tap, and jazz not to put too fine a point on it), and every time i go to dance class, she gets upset. she feels like I'm only going because of the girls. Given, their nice, and some of them are eye candy, but that's not the reason i go. i go because i very much enjoy dancing. and even if the girls were the major draw, i think she should be ok with that, right?
i made her a promise not to do anything with anyone but her until the time agreed upon. shouldn't that be enough? i have never broken a promise to her, not like that. i mean after all, the world is filled with attractive people, i would have no more or less chance cheating with any girls from ballet then from a yoga class, or the mall for that matter.
i am no longer going to try and convince her i love her or that this is not because she isn't good enough. i've tried to convince her more than four years, and i'm still not sure she believes she me. i'll give her the time requested, but when that time is up she will have to decide either to accept herself, or not. i think that's all i can do now.