We are all readjusting. I expect this will just take time.
Sadly, Hubby is clinging so tightly to me right now that I just have to breathe my way through it. I have to remind myself that if he chooses not to put his heart out there again that it is his choice, not mine. He really worked hard to meet everyone elses needs and I think he is pretty exhausted....I suspect that his desire to please others blindsided him making sure his own needs were met. Gee, no wonder he has no desire to go out there and risk it all again. Ironic chuckle.
I once read someone describe their other as too good not to share with deserving others. That really resonated with me. Obviously, I think this guy is the bomb (or why would I be with him?!). It makes me sad to see him hurt.
Sorry, just rambling here. Not sure exactly what I am trying to get out. I think that maybe a large part of the mourning has to do with fear that Hubs seems to want to just retreat back into mono. If that is what he needs, then that is what I will do in order to be supportive...but I really hope it doesn't turn out to be the case.
I have heard all the frustration and discouragement about how hard it is for a married male his age to meet and develop authentic connections of a romantic nature. I get what he has said, really. The irony is that he has been through 4 dating relationships since we started on this journey and I have been through one....not wanting anything more than friendship but figuring out that the other woman wanted more and that I needed to put my foot down firmly. I am having to play everything by the hearts ear right now and just let things be how they need to be.
I think in this last relationship he found out he really could be capable of loving more than one. He learned that and I'm very happy that he did. I was hoping he would find out that he really was capable of that. I knew that I was fully capable of loving that way to begin with. This opening up journey has been the best thing we ever did because we washed away the stench of stagnation and started growing again. Sometimes growth involves spasms but I believe that they are worth the pain.